selenophile
by ladycortana
Summary: In where Camelia Claustra grants Noctis the chance to see Luna the day before the covenant in Altissia. One-shot.


**A** / **N** : AHHHHH i'm so excited, i've been wanting to write something about FFXV for quite some time now but i didn't exactly know what. To be honest, it's kind of hard to write about luna&noctis since their lack of scenes together can be a limitation to understand how they would behave with each other (or not, but my imagination isn't that wide lately, haha) i personally wanted to write this encounter in kind of an awkward/sad way instead of getting very sappy and corny. Noctis is very awkward, and i'm sure Luna doesn't want to push the line too far since she already had worries that shared with Gentiana about their wedding, so i wanted to make it as realistic as possible.

anyway, i hope you enjoy, reviews are always welcome! & follow me on tumblr too (ladywonga) since i post fics there too

* * *

 ** _i'm sure there was a promise,_ **  
**_that even if you go, you won't be gone forever  
_** _—by the stream, iu._

:::::::

"Assign three of your own for the evacuation effort. Whom you choose is up to you. According to our intel, the imperial fleet will be four warships strong. Steel yourselves for a full-scale battle," Camelia Claustra offers a polite and taut smirk, wrapped in a fragile protocol, and her hands gently stretch out to Noctis, but the grip is firm and decisive. "I'm glad we could talk. We can each act in our own interest to our mutual benefit."

The young king offers a few nods in response, holding back from releasing the heaviest sigh that has ever escaped from his lips. This was far easier than anything he had expected it to be, yet his muscles continue to spread gusts of undying alert to each corner of his body, reminding him that this is just the beginning and that Camelia's arrogant smile could rapidly turn into the face of an enemy, leaving their alliance to rot in the hands of the gods. Noctis swallows sharply, lingering in his place, when Camelia turns around ready to disappear through the door and her guards remain quiet expecting him to do the same.

But this is his last chance, his _only_ chance. A risky move, something that could throw their recent agreement to the fire, but he has to ask. He _needs_ to ask.

"O-One more thing…" Noctis is breathless when he speaks, and he almost wants to punch himself in the face because this is not how a king should sound like. A _king_. He sounds frightened, and weak, and way too desperate, and a part of him strongly believes that—somewhere in the afterlife—his father and ancestors are covering their eyes in shame.

Even Camelia finds herself surprised by the sudden tone of his voice, clearly interested to hear what he has to say. She stops, slightly turning around, and her brows arch slightly.

"Yes?"

Noctis thinks he should stop. Stop, you _fucking_ asshole, you're gonna ruin everything, you're gonna —

"About Luna," he continues, hesitating. He should have probably called her Lady Lunafreya, as it was due, but he's far too nervous to reconsider his choice of words. His hands shake, turn into fists at each side of his hips. He quickly licks his bottom lip before resuming. "I was wondering… I was wondering if I could see her, before the ritual tomorrow. With the empire around, I'm not sure if I'll be able to — "

But Camelia is already showing signs of clear disappointment. She sighs, forcing him to swallow his words. The woman looks at her feet for a moment, grimacing before lifting up her eyes in his direction.

"I'm afraid that's not — "

"Please," Noctis gives one step, suddenly not caring about his pride, his honor, the way he should behave as King, or even what his father might be thinking of him at this very moment. He's ready to kneel, he's ready to kneel if he has to, to lower his head in full surrender and beg over and over again, as many times as she needs him to. "All this time… I thought she was dead. And we… we're here because… I was supposed to — "

He stops before he decides to embarrass himself any further.

 _I was supposed to marry her,_ something whispers inside of him.

And he hadn't been ready. He hadn't been ready for that at all, yet it seemed to be the only thing in his mind since he arrived at the town. Noctis takes a deep breath, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to _feel_ , and he almost wishes Ignis could be here and not waiting outside. _Here_ , by his side, speaking for him as he always did, taking responsibility for his crap, for his immature being. He doesn't know how to be eloquent, and he never asked Ignis to teach him. What for? He had him. He _had_ his father, he had the entire realm to save his ass whenever he wanted to act like a spoiled brat and pretend he wasn't a son of royalty. But now… he's never felt this alone. He's never felt this abandoned.

So he begs.

Like a child, like the boy he is… he begs.

"Please," his voice repeats one more time, desperation overflowing from his veins. "Let me see her, please. Just a _second_ , only a second. Nothing more. _Please._ "

Camelia stares at him for long seconds, as if trying to decipher his inner intentions, to unravel the honesty in his words. But Noctis has never possessed the fame of being an impressive liar, and in the eyes of a woman far more experienced than him, he was nothing but a broken child pretending to be a king. The woman sighs, shoulders slowly unwinding as she takes one step, and another, walking around the room with her pale eyes fixed on the window.

"I suppose I can arrange a quick meeting before midnight," her words make Nocits lift up his gaze in pure astonishment. He… wasn't expecting her to give in so easily, in fact, he was hoping she would laugh at him for being so utterly pathetic. "But only for a brief moment, and under the supervision of my guards. I can't risk any possible change of plans that can threaten the safety of my people. I'm sure you understand, your _Highness_."

Relief spreads through him like a disease. Finally, he sighs.

He sighs.

"Of course," he nods, and almost offers a ridiculous bow before stopping himself in the middle. Why should he bow? He's the king, in any case, she should be the one bending the knee to him. He scratches the back of his head instead, awkwardly. "T-Thanks."

Camelia nods.

"What can I say," she laments. "I have a soft spot for the young and tragic. Wait outside until your presence is required."

She abandons the room before he can add anything else, and all there's left to do is wait.

Just wait.

 **—o—**

But Noctis Lucis Caelum wasn't someone you could easily define as _patient._

He blurts out a sigh, heavier this time, sitting on the stairs at the palace's entrance and staring at the sun slowly hiding behind the stunning architectures of Altissia, dying the sky in pale pink. Prompto delivers a few quick glances from time to time, but doesn't dare to add anything else, instead, he lazily plays with the straps of his leather jacket, trying to kill some time.

But he can't stand this useless waiting any longer.

"How many hours have passed?" Noctis asks no one in particular.

Gladio, who's sitting a few steps above him, lazily checks the watch wrapped around his wrist.

"Three hours."

Noctis groans, ruffling his messy hair.

"Why the _fuck_ are they taking so long?"

He gains a disapproving look from Ignis, who's standing at the end of the stairs, walking from one place to another.

"Noct," he adverts, rapidly drifting his eyes to the soldiers guarding the door, just a few steps away from them. "Watch your mouth."

Noctis huffs in response, turning his gaze away. He was starting to doubt the legitimacy of the first secretary's words, and the promise of seeing Luna again was slowly slipping away from his hands. He could have waited, waited until tomorrow's ritual, because everything was going to turn out well, right? He was going to fight the empire and succeed, because he had his friends by his side, and soon the hydraean's blessing, and Luna was the Oracle, she held a power far beyond any human comprehension… there was no way things could end up wrong.

That's why he needed to see her. _Just_ in case, just —

"Your Highness," a deep voice behind him forces Noctis and his friends to turn around. A soldier stands at the head of the stairs. Stiff and motionless. "Follow me, please."

Noctis' heart gives a sharp tug, and suddenly he's too scared to follow the soldier, too scared to walk up the stairs and get what he so fervently asked for in the first place. His eyes land on Ignis first, then Gladio, and finally Prompto. After all these years… he was finally going to see Luna. He didn't expect to feel so nervous, and all the things he thought he wanted to say to her completely vanished from his head. His mind was blank and empty. He had no idea of what he wanted to say, and almost felt tempted to ask his friends to come with him.

Ignis hand gently rests on his shoulder. Behind his glasses, his eyes soften with understanding.

"It's okay, Noct," he whispers, nodding, "go."

Go.

Just go.

Noctis takes a deep, sharp breath, and climbs up the first step, and then he's inside the palace following the soldier. Another two guards join them, following Noctis from behind, and they lead him through a long corridor that feels more eternal than the three hours he'd spent waiting at the entrance. The hallway becomes larger and larger, or so thinks Noctis, although it's just probably his imagination. He looks down at the palm of his hands, shimmering with a fine layer of sweat, and everything around him feels colder than usual, even his erratic breath.

He's gonna see Luna.

He's gonna see _her._

Noctis had never been a huge prayer, and the Six were one of the last things occupying his mind, but as he kept on walking through that corridor, he begged them to give him courage, and strength, and determination not just to see her now, but to save her tomorrow. Save her. All he wanted was to save her.

They reach the end of the corridor and stop in front of a closed door, tall and made of grey marble. Noctis swallows when the guard holds the door handle, ready to open it, and delivers a cold "you have thirty minutes" that Noctis doesn't acknowledge, he doesn't even look at the soldier, or shows any sign of having heard any of his words. His eyes are glued on the door that slowly opens, and Noctis gives one terrifying step, and the distant silhouette of Lunafreya Nox Fleuret across the room takes his breath away.

The chambers are big and clean, full of light and emptiness. The brightness comes from the large balcony that has its doors wide open, and where Luna is resting on the railing, absently staring at the stunning view of the sea as she keeps her legs pressed against her chest, embracing them deeply. It's when the door shuts firmly behind him that the sound echoes and Luna jerks in her comfort, looking up in confusion. Didn't they tell her he was coming?

Luna looks startled as she moves away from the balcony, taking one step, frightened as someone who had just seen a ghost. She's dressed in a plain white dress with short sleeves and a silk apron of the same color, she looked like one of those ancient princesses from the paintings decorating the walls of the palace in Insomnia. Her flaxen hair shimmered under the sunlight that was slowly saying goodbye to the day, and if it wasn't because she was the Oracle, a divine chosen to speak to the gods for the people, he would have thought she was a goddess herself.

"L-Luna," is all he can say, slowly coming further and feeling nothing but pathetic.

Luna approaches, startled, raising a hand to delicately touch her chest, right where her heart is.

"Noctis?"

He blinks, unable to form any words despite his lips parting stupidly, only a gasp can be heard. They keep staring at each other for a few seconds more until a bigger force, bigger than their fears, bigger than the Six and any other prophecy leading the path of their fate pulls them closer into a harsh, raw, desperate embrace. They clumsily reach out for each other until he finally, _finally_ , has her in his arms, and Luna has to repress a sob by the sudden realization that he is here. Noctis, _Noctis_ … oh, Noctis…

She can't breathe, she can't. There's a burning, a deep pain throbbing in her chest when she finally closes her eyes… and breathes. Lunafreya breathes, for the first time in years, and releases all the poison that she'd been storing inside since her mother had died. Her brows meet, and her hands clutch firmly the muscles of his back, and she can feel Noctis' lips on her hair, and then her neck when he hides his face in her skin and breathes, too. He represses a sob and fails miserably. She hugs him tighter, and he does the same.

"L-Luna…"

 _If only… If only I could hear his voice once more…_

Twelve years have been far too long.

Their broken hands keep on pressing onto each other's bodies, as if trying to make themselves part of their flesh, merge into one so that no one can separate them again. Their erratic breaths fill the room just as the sound of his voice repeating _Luna_ over and over, and after grieving for a second, she smiles weakly, poorly. No one ever calls her Luna, no one ever called her that except for him and his father. Thinking of Regis sends painful shivers down her spine, and she decides to break the embrace for a moment, wanting to see his face.

He's tall now, way taller than her, and she has to look up to get a better view of his expression. One of his cheeks is damp in tears, and he quickly wipes them away with his forearm, terribly embarrassed. Luna delivers a weak grin, holding his face.

"Don't weep," she comforts, and he shakes his head rapidly.

"I'm not," he sniffs, taking a deep breath, taking the courage of a man, of a king. He looks at her, more serious now. She looks pale, and weak, and her eyes are red and swollen, deep bags sucking all her vitality. She looked… sick. His hands fly to rest on her shoulders, grabbing them softly. "Luna, have they hurt you in any way? Did they — "

Lunafreya quickly shakes her head in denial, strands of golden hair falling onto her eyes.

"No, they have not. They've been kind," she confesses, and something in the color of her voice makes him think she's lying. It makes _her_ think she's lying to herself, too. "More kind than the empire has ever been."

They make a pause, an awkward one, where they kill some time by checking each other out. Luna smiles sheepishly, sniffing softly.

"You've grown quite a bit."

Noctis gasps out a weird chuckle, lowering his gaze.

"Yeah, you too."

The atmosphere feels kind of tense, so they walk to the balcony, using the mesmerizing view as a way of distraction when there are no words to say, or maybe too many and no courage to let them rise. Noctis rests his elbows on the concrete railing, Luna lets her hands nervously play with the thin straps of her robe, and they remain quiet for some time. They don't know what to say, or where to start, or how even talk to each other after such a long time. Noctis drifts his eyes away towards her from time to time, silently checking out her expression. Her eyes are weary and mirroring the blue waters around them, the last drops of sunlight kissing her face. She looks so… sad. He wishes there was something he could say, something he could do to —

"It's a beautiful city," she whispers after a while, standing straight against the railing as the princess she is.

Noctis nods, dwelling in his surroundings. The gulls singing by the dock, the ships coming and going, the lights slowly illuminating the streets to welcome the night, the strong and salty smell of the waters. It is truly beautiful.

"Yeah," he agrees.

"I have never been in Altissia before. I am not allowed to leave the palace, so I can only admire it from up here."

Something sharp stirs deep inside of him. She wasn't allowed to leave Tenebrae, she wasn't allowed to leave this palace… was there even something she _was_ allowed to do? Even one thing? His jaw clenches tightly, thinking about all the things they could do together if she was free from the empire. Back at Tenebrae, because of his injury, there weren't many things they could do together apart from going on a walk through the gardens and staying in her chambers reading books. They had promised that they would visit each other someday, that Noctis would return to Tenebrae so they could make a trip together to the mountains, that he would take her to arcade games on her future visit to Insomnia, show her all the technology that lacked in her hometown. But all those promises… they all meant nothing now, and when he thought their marriage could be a way of releasing her from her chains, a way of grating her the freedom she deserved… everything turned out to be a lie. Just another sick, filthy lie from the empire.

They had taken so much from them. So much.

"I've seen some of it and it's really nice," he sighs, looking around at the city. "Many restaurants and fun things to do, I guess. I wish I could take you out for a walk."

Lunafreya looks down at her trembling hands, smiling weakly at his concern. He probably can't notice, but his presence makes her feel uneasy, and excited, and stupid, and terribly wise. All at the same time.

"When did you arrive?" she asks, softly, in a broken voice.

"Yesterday."

"I see."

Noctis looks down at his hands, and keeps staring at them for quite some time. He swallows, feeling his mouth dry and bitter. He no longer cares about the city.

"We could escape, you know," he whispers, and he adverts Lunafreya's quick eyes upon him. However, he doesn't look at her. He feels like an idiot for even implying such thing, but continues. "We could… run away together, tonight, and forget about the hydraean, about the covenant, about everything else. Just find a place to hide, a place where you could be safe."

Luna is serious, brows softly furrowing by the shock of his words. She wasn't expecting him to say something like this, something so reckless yet extremely tentative. Her heart claims to the gods, she claims for strength, for guidance, for wisdom. But she gets none.

They are always silent.

Luna sighs, eyes watering.

"I'm the Oracle," she advised, voice shaking. "And you the King of Lucis, w-what you suggest — "

He sighs, heavily irritated, and his elbows are no longer resting on the railing, now, he lets his pale fists meet the cold stone.

"We are _more_ than that," Noctis protests, unable to meet her gaze.

He sighs, trying to appease his anger, and Lunafreya sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. No. They are not. This is all they are, this is all they are meant to be, no matter for how long. He was born to vanish the darkness from the world, and she was born to guide him. Their ends, too, were planned by the gods. But he didn't know that.

He didn't know.

"Forget it," he adds in a murmur, shaking his head. The last thing he wanted was to start a fight after so many years of absence. He walks away, slowly, playing with his hands and keeping his eyes away from everything else. Luna stares at his back in pure sorrow, wishing that things could be different. She should have known he wasn't ready.

"Your father…" Luna begins, gaining his troubled eyes at the mention of Regis. "He didn't give up his life so you could run away. He placed his trust upon you, and so do I. You have the will, Noctis, you must find it. I…"

Her speech stops when she realizes her vision blurs, and she blinks twice before feeling a tear sliding down her cheek. Her long fingers wipe it off quickly, but not quick enough for Noctis to ignore it. He almost feels guilty for having brought up such topic, so he slowly walks to her, unsure, and there's nothing but pain in his eyes. She suspects there's nothing but pain in her eyes too.

"Luna…"

"I'm… I'm scared too," her lips confess, and her heart begs the gods for forgiveness because she can't allow herself to be weak, not in front of him. Noctis needs of her strength, but maybe, _just_ maybe, he's right, and they are more than just the Oracle and the Chosen King. They are Noctis and Lunafreya, they are _human_ , and they are afraid. "B-But… we must have faith, for the gods are with us, and they will not forsake us."

Lunafreya's voice loses its strength near the end, it becomes a broken whisper, a forgotten prayer. Noctis' taut eyes scrutinize her face, her eyes, and he's almost convinced that she doesn't trust in her own words, not entirely at least. She's trying to comfort him, but he has no clue of how to comfort her himself. Luna sighs, looking down at her chest, and her arms softly search for something at the back of her neck. A chain, a chain with a ring. His father's ring.

The ring of the Lucii.

He gasps, and Luna takes his hand, so softly it hurts, to place the ring on his palm.

"Your father gave this to me before he died, he wanted me to deliver it to you when the time came. I think you should — "

Noctis shakes his head, terribly uncomfortable, and puts the ring back into her hand. Lunafreya takes a short breath, surprised.

"N-No," he stutters, delivering an awkward chuckle. God, he's not ready. He's not ready for this. "Not… yet. I-I mean, you can give it to me later, after the ritual. It's not like we won't see each other again, right? There's no hurry."

Luna doesn't respond. She holds the ring, staring at her closed palm, and she looks quite sick. Noctis waits, and waits, and waits, and there's no response, and he's getting more and more nervous with each passing second. Say something, come on, say something…

"Luna?"

She nods, coming back to the moment. Her lips offer a forced smirk that never reaches her eyes. Noctis doesn't smile back.

"Y-Yes," Luna looks at the ring again, nodding softly. "Alright. I'll keep it for now."

Noctis nods too, shoulders slowly losing its tension.

"Good."

He doesn't quite know how much time they have left, the sun is already gone, the sky is already dark blue, and he feels like this is the only chance he has to be honest of something he used to be terribly unsure about. Their marriage arrangement… it had only been forged under political interests. But now, a wedding wasn't needed anymore. The empire had the total control of Eos, and a wedding wasn't a strategical move to win the war. Becoming a king, was.

Noctis takes a deep breath when both are caught up staring at the city again, leaning against the balcony.

"Y-You know," he starts off, already feeling her eyes upon him. He's too shy to look back. "I saw your wedding dress on display the day we arrived."

Lunafreya holds her breath, returning her eyes back to the city.

"O-Oh," she simply mutters in response, unsure of where this is going. "You did."

He nods, absently staring at his feet.

"Yeah," he makes a pause, blinking softly, almost drowsily. "You would have looked beautiful in it."

That's when Luna's eyes meet him, and he does the same, and there's a silent understanding full of questions. Luna thinks she might understand what he's trying to say, but then again, she really doesn't. She's just hoping, wishing for a _yes_ and a _no_ , a _we can_ but _we shouldn't_. The wedding excited her when it was possible, when she thought it was what the empire truly wanted. But now… is it worth it, knowing the risks? Is it worth it, knowing that both will die in the end?

Does… does he still want to? Did he ever want to?

She wants to smile, yet the pain doesn't allow her.

"All I'm trying to say is…" he sighs, ruffling his hair in a jovial manner. "I mean, once this is all over, once we're done with this… w-we could still tr — "

Lunafreya's body jerks slightly when the door of the chambers is abruptly opened, and the guards enter the room as if it belongs to them. Noctis looks up, terribly annoyed for being interrupted at such an _important_ moment, and his hands are already starting to shiver by the meaning of their interruption. It's over.

Their time together is over.

"The time is over, your highness. Lady Lunafreya, come with us."

Luna and Noctis share a quick glance, full of something both are unable to decipher. Luna leans rapidly against him to clasp her arms around his neck in a desperate embrace. He shivers, tightly enveloping her body against him.

"L-Luna…"

Her voice whispers against his ear, frantic.

"Trust in your own strength, Noctis. I know you can do it."

The soldiers decide that it's enough, and they approach to grab Lunafreya by the arms and rip her away from _his_ arms, and they aren't gentle, and the look in Luna's eyes is enough for Noctis to give one step and gain a slight push on his chest, preventing him to reach for her.

Just like twelve years ago.

It was just the same, and that was the last time he saw her.

"L-Luna!"

The guards push her away from him, still holding her by the arms, and she can only turn around her face to give him one last glance, one last broken smile before disappearing through the door. His father always told him that things never happen the same way twice but, right at this moment, this pursing taste of deja vu tells him he was wrong. Things _can_ happen twice, in the exact same way. But Noctis was determined to not let this happen again a third time.

Even if it meant his own death.

* * *

 **selenophile** (n.) a person who loves the moon.


End file.
